They Want Revenge : Staff Predictions for Penn State

​The Hammer:

I will state this once. Penn State is no better than Michigan State. In fact if we played both teams 10 times MSU would have a better chance of beating us. I hate that people are concerned about this game. That concern makes me in turn concerned. But if I allow myself to use logic and reason I come to this conclusion...

Michigan 24
Penn State 6

Play calling could be detrimental but I don't see how they score. If Trent isn't right or something flukey happens like a damn fake field goal or special teams touchdown or Chad has a brain lapse or, or, or, or...enough! We dominate. Now go to bed.

HART and HALL, book it.

Johnny Cleveland:

We head to H.V. with negatives all around as we are wounded and playing at night. JoPa seems to have a couple miracles left in him and we are just hoping we are not one of them. With that being said get ready for some old fashioned Michigan Football. We run, run and run some more unitl time of posession and field position is all the excitement we once again have.

As boring as it will be until #86 returns, it proves to be effective when you have the best defense in the country. Look for the emergence of the tight end, quite possibly young Carson Butler, to lead us to a low scoring win. Michigan 13, PSU 7

OMVP : Running Backs
DMVP : D-Line

The XBox:

Michigan blows a 14-0 first quarter lead, giving up 17 unanswered in the 2nd quarter.

Penn State 24
Michigan 17

The Webmaster:

Scared? Not really. Nervous? Nope. Wish we had Mario and that we were playing a half of a mile from where I'm typing? Yes. But this is part of the deal. Night games in fired up stadiums in the freezing cold wth a key injury...that's college football, or at least that's college football today. So let's just play Michigan football and I'll see you next week when we're 7-0. It's that simple.

Michigan 21
Penn State 10

Arrington and Woodley

Get Grandpa Joe Some Pepto: The Penn State Preview

​Yes, it's been a light posting week. It seems that Captain Funnypants and his Navarre-esque posting consistency took the week off. It's tough to be mad at him...cocaine's a hell of a drug.

We pack up the family truckster and head to Beaver Stadium this week. Beaver Stadium is in Happy Valley, which completes the most blatant piece of sexual innuendo since construction workers selected I-75's Exit 69 to be Big Beaver Road. Well, maybe not themost blatant. It's been a tough week, coming off of the long Saturday tailgate and game, and trying to convince yourself that Mario Manningham is a product of offensive scheme and not a shitload of speed, a devastating first move, and perfect route running. Maybe you, like Sports Illustrated, think that Mario is the team, and without him the sky is falling. Then you woke up Thursday morning, and the sky was actually falling.

"The expectation is for the position, not the player," Lloyd will most certainly say. But I can't imagine you expected that position to net 527 yards and nine touchdowns. Nine touchdowns on 24 receptions. That's the type of stuff that will get you stalked by a 23 year old. Speaking of which, how do I get Lloyd's email address?

Anyway, back to Penn State...

The School: 

• Founded 1855


• Enrollment 41,289


• Motto: "Making Life Better"

The Records:

• Michigan is 8-3 all-time against Penn State, including the last seven straight.


• Michigan is 4-1 all-time in Beaver Stadium

The Numbers:

• Michigan leads the nation is rushing defense and time of possession


• Mike Hart is the nation's 6th leading rusher


• Penn State's kicker, Kevin Kelly, is 2nd in the nation in field goals per game

Watch Out For:

• Tony Hunt, the nation's 11th leading rusher


• Paul Posluszny: linebacker who will be looking to add to his 50 tackles on the season

Fun Facts: 

• Brent Musburger is doing this game


• This will be the first and only time Chad Henne will play in Beaver Stadium


• The Detroit Tigers are two wins away from the World Series


• Wisconsin's band is on the hot seat following their trip to Ann Arbor


• Stop eating spray cheese

Case of the Mundy's: Is Everyone Alright? Edition 10/9/06

​Coming off quite possibly the greatest day in Michigan/Detroit sports since Woodson won the Heisman and Michigan upset Duke back in '97, it took mere moments...and a shady Lloyd presser...to sober you up quickly heading in to Penn State. Mike Hart and Mario Manningham, who by my gorilla math make up about 95% of the Michigan offense, were injured during the scrimmage against Michigan Agricultural College on Saturday. While Hart says he is good to go, Manningham has been shipped to Siberia, and will be unable to discuss his injury (or lack thereof) until Lloyd thinks it's time. Manningham, who provided the miracle finish against Penn State last season in the Big House, will apparently be inactive for this year's contest against the Nittany Lions. He injured his knee in the 3rd quarter and was seen icing it on the bench in the 4th quarter. MGoBlog has received reports from some students that have seen him on crutches on campus. Could be more than just a week...but unless it's six weeks, Mario will be back in time for OSU. I hope am sure Adrian Arrington can fill the role until Mario's return...though it would be nice to have him for Iowa, our last meaningful game until the trip to Columbus.

In a move that will once again test our tailgating endurance, the University, in association with ABC sports, has set a kickoff time of 3:30pm for the Iowa game, extending our planned Italian theme to a 7.5 hour trattoria

 marathon.

News from the weekend around the Google-owned web...

• "Smackdown" is so appropriate. If only planting a flag in your own home was appropriate. [GreenandWhite.com]


• The Angel's recap, which I assume is only accidentally in all bold font. [DetroitNews]


• The Godfather will no doubt send all of his mail with these. [Stamps.com]


• Nearly a week old, but national recognition of the Spartan's demise is too good to not link. [SI.com]


• This could be the end of the crowd in the background at Gameday. [EDSBS.com]


• Nuclear secrets would be safest with Lloyd. [ESPN.com]


• Life tip of the week for you impatient bastards out there. [Lifehacker.com]


• Hart is OK...seriously. [Freep]

Injury Report:

• Antonio Bass: out indefinitely


• Mike Kolodziej: rumor mill finally comes through...Kolodziej has a heart condition and could not be cleared by Michigan's legal department early this season...out for season/career.


• Tyler Ecker: sprained ankle against Minnesota, questionable for PSU


• Mario Manningham: knee; out for PSU

Captain Michigan Scores More Than Michigan State

​The preseason Heisman candidate and his band of preseason Big Ten Champion darkhorses came into Ann Arbor on Saturday. They were bruised, battered, and coming off two of the most embarrassing back-to-back losses in their history. They had absolutely nothing to lose, and could begin to salvage a disastrous season by handing their "rival" their first loss. Winning fixes everything. Unfortunately for the Spartan faithful, the Green and White seem to only know how to disappoint. 

Unlike the past two years, it wouldn't take overtime. The loudest cheers came during announcements of the score from the  Detroit Tigers dismantling of the Yankee dynasty just 35 miles away in Comerica Park, and it was the only cheering the Michigan State faithful would feel compelled to participate in. In fact, this game was less in question by the end of the first half than Michigan's games against Vanderbilt and Central Michigan. Michigan dominated, broadcasting their weekly edition of "Establishing the Run", racking up 211 yards on 5 yards per carry. 122 yards of the ground attack came from Mike Hart, 51 from Kevin Grady, and 39 from true frosh Brandon Minor, who broke a 40-yard TD run to seal the game late in the 3rd quarter. Henne-to-Arrington showed up again with a spectacular leaping grab of 13 yards for the first touchdown of the game. Henne-to-Manningham, now a household name, came through again with 2 touchdowns of 41 and 27 yards. A late 2-yard touchdown by a scrambling Stanton somehow warranted his own personal celebration, but it would not be enough in his final chance to beat the Maize and Blue. Michigan wins 31-13...and it has never been less exciting. On it's way to being only termed a rivalry because of geography, Michigan-Michigan St. not only didn't warrant a Maize Out, it barely deserved your attention.

So we quickly move on to next week. Michigan has earned themselves half of a perfect season, the first since 1997, and that means that things are starting to get serious in Ann Arbor. They have two solid contests in the next two weeks before three weeks of patsies on the road to Columbus. First is what many are calling a "trap game" under the lights in Beaver Stadium, where the visiting Wolverines will come in ranked #4 for the first time since...you guessed it...1997.

The tailgate was completely ridiculous, full of first-timers, and overrun with a level of drunkenness and debauchery not previously observed. Exhaustion even had me down for the count. Perhaps the masses were not quite prepared for the longest home tailgate in UMTailgate.com history, as many stumbled in late to the battle for the Paul Bunyan trophy, and some didn't make it at all. But in the end, it didn't matter. Get drunk, pass out...forget about it...with Michigan State, you can relax.

Slaphappy Staff Predictions for Michigan Agricultural College

​The Hammer:

This week has proven to be the toughest for me by far. This is vintage Michigan State, acting the fool just to make a possible upset bid all the more disgraceful to our school. Typical MSU, NOT typical Michigan. This is game one of the long road to the promise land my friends. Matt Trannon might have more completed passes than Drew Stanton this week. I'll give them 10 just because...but that's being generous. The only motivation Michigan ever needs should be proving that "last week" was no fluke. Validating each win with another win. Catch my drift?! Getting better every week. We go into week 6 needing to validate our 5-0 record and we'll go into week 7 needing to validate 6-0.

Michigan 31
East Lansing 10
(wait till you see the enthusiasm of their fans when they take a 7-0 lead, only to get three the rest of the way)

DMVP - Shawn Crable
OMVP - Mike Hart

Johnny Cleveland not available (drunk) at press time.

XBox Says:

Michigan 28
Michigan State 13

The Webmaster:

I'm with the Hammer in that this has got "bullshit call gives Sparty victory" or "broken play gives Sparty victory" written all over it. So we cannot afford to keep them in our rear view mirror. They must be buried. And after Lamarr removes torso from legs, you can get your shovels out. Michigan will win, cover, and unfortunately end the Michigan State career of John L. Smith. We will miss you John L...you crazy bastard.

Michigan 27
Michigan State 6